I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
