i need an iv and a liver transplant
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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