I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
