Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
