Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You dont lie about slip and slides
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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