My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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