Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
