Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
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Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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