Your tits are I can't wait for
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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