margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
