Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
