First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize