Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Randomize
