Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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