Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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