Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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