Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
