walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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