this beer tastes like vomit already
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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