I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
