Its about making memories worth repressing
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I touched a dick in church today
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize