Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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