honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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