i barfeds in our rink
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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