In the future we'll all be gay
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
