the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
