Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Randomize
