I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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