you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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