Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
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i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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