no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
