im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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