im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
