I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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