HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
