Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
