Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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