I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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