3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
