oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize