if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
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i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize