I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
