your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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