Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
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