Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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