alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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