so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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