They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
