He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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