if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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