Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I wear drunk well.
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