Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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