Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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