im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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