i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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