we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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