Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
