Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
