one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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