I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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