I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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