do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
