I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm sobbing to NWA
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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