We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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