And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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