writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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