smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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