I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize