she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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